How to be more accepting of yourself


Are you your number one critic?  Every time you lose a client, does it affect you personally, even though the reason for the loss may have nothing to do with you?  Some clients are never satisfied and change service providers frequently. As the owner or manager of a spa or massage therapy practice, you probably have staff, and their departures for other positions also can add to self-criticism. You may feel responsible for their leaving, especially if they end up working for the competition. However, people switch jobs all the time for a range of reasons, sometimes if only to improve their commute.


While changes in your client roster and team members should encourage you to look at your operations, client services, and employee relations and make necessary changes, you can’t take all of it personally. Somewhere along the line in running your business, not to mention, as you go through life, you have to learn to accept who you are and like yourself for it. Accepting yourself means making peace with yourself, and when you do, relationships with most everyone around you seem to get better. Here are some steps to take to cultivate self-acceptance.


Recognize and appreciate your strengths

Pat yourself on the back for all the things you have accomplished and their impact on other people’s lives. We often focus on our shortcomings and don’t give ourselves enough credit for our strengths and achievements. If need be, sit down and list out the proudest things about yourself and running your spa or massage practice. You may be pleased with your efforts to advance your skills in massage, for example, by continuing to learn and participate in industry seminars and conferences. You may be proud that you have many long-term clients, which speaks to your expertise and your demonstrated regard for client well-being.


Find forgiveness

Accept that you’ve made mistakes. Also, recognize that at the time, the decision you made might have been the best one for the circumstances, even though now you can look back and see how you might have acted differently.  The key is to learn from your mistakes and move on.


Don’t stress over abandoned dreams

We may have expectations of ourselves but find we can’t meet all of them.  Maybe you dreamed of opening a string of shops and haven’t yet moved beyond the first one.  Maybe you wanted to find time to become more of an industry expert, writing books and blogs, but really don’t have the time.


Stop comparing yourself to others

We tend to compare – even rate- ourselves against others.  You may think someone is more expert than you at some aspect of the profession or that someone is more successful because they have a larger practice. That type of comparison only causes pain and is not useful. Be proud of your accomplishments; don’t focus on what others have achieved.


Be good to yourself

Self-care is a big part of self-acceptance. When you feel better, you are in a better frame of mind to be positive and confident.  Take time out for breaks and exercise, whatever you choose. Get enough sleep and eat the foods that give you strength. Also, spend time with friends and do the things you love, whether reading or pursuing a hobby.


Self-acceptance doesn’t always come naturally.  Be your own best friend. Learn to accept yourself.  When you do, you also learn to accept others, even if you don’t always see eye to eye.


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