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Are you being hard on yourself in this post-holiday period because you indulged just a bit too much on the abundance of good food and drink offered up at get-togethers with family and friends? Is it time to get to the gym or get on the trail for a jog but you don’t feel like it and as a result are feeling bad about yourself? It’s pretty common. You most likely have high expectations of what we should do – whether in your personal life or in running your spa or massage practice - and may chastise yourself for not living up to the standards you set.


Sometimes a bit of self-judging is good since it spurs you on to keep taking actions necessary to achieve goals you’ve set. However, being too hard on yourself can ultimately have the opposite effect. It can leave you feeling defeated and ultimately get in the way of achieving the things you strive for most.


In “Have you said something nice to yourself today,” Jeanine Joy, a life-changing author, speaker and scholar, writes “If you have a discouraging voice in your head, it is not helping you achieve your full potential? “ She goes on if that voice in your head bullies you, defeat it, looking for the part of you that knows how great you really are. All you need to do is look at all the things you have achieved to know how much better you are than that disparaging voice that crops up from time to time. Essentially, Joy asserts that allowing the “bully in your head” to take charge is a bad habit and one that you need to break.


To help you be less judgmental and hard on yourself and more loving and caring, try looking at yourself in the mirror each day and saying something nice TO YOU. If you’re not sure what to say, here are some recommendations from Allison Crow, an intuitive life and business coach. “Mirror work” as Crow calls is not about “checking your appearance but seeing yourself and giving yourself verbal acknowledgement and love.” Among her 12 things to say to as you look at yourself in the mirror, are:


  • I love and accept you
  • I support you
  • I completely trust you
  • You deserve a great day
  • I am so very proud of you
  • You are in just the perfect spot in your life journey and everything is working out just fine

So when the little bully in your head starts to wind, tell yourself that things are going to be fine. Don’t wait for someone else to tell you how great you really are. Take out that mirror, look at yourself and say something nice. You earned it.


What else would you recommend saying to yourself in the mirror?